Completely Made Up True Facts About Belgium

Completely Made Up Facts About Belgium:

Belgium has the highest rate of communicable diseases spread through “social contact” in the entire world. Higher even than Chicago.

Belgium supported the Vichy Governments attempt to nationalize the Sparkling Water business.

Belgians regularly blow their noses on their hands and wipe them on their left pant legs. The back side of the left leg.

Belgium has never held a Remembrance Day Parade and invited the President of the United States to attend in grateful thanks for saving them from the Germans. Twice.

Belgium woman are unattractive, bitchy and wear German perfumes.

Belgium has an “un-official” language called “Piccard.” They do not have an un-official language called “Kirk.” Clearly they don’t “get” Star Trek.

Belgium means “Kingdom of Freedom,” but the Belgians regularly lock up foreign visitors for minor infractions such as attempting to speak French.

Belgium is the single most offensive word – in the ENTIRE universe. (Actually true fact)

GO USA! Beat Belgium!


Posted on July 1, 2014, in News & Notes and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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